Self.

I don't really like talking about myself much, but in order to give you insight into who I am, I digress.

http://s88.photobucket.com/albums/k174/nae_artistic/Bike%20Trip%20to%20Maumee%20Bay/

Name


My name is Renae Marie Horn. I abnegate my last name however, because of the way my father has treated my mother, my brother, and myself. Never have I had a good relationship with him, and therefore, I anxiously await the day I can legally exchange his name for someone else that loves me more than he ever did.

Love

I love art, painting, photo, music, coffee, beaches, water, rain, nature, God, beauty, my boyfriend, learning, creating, building, laughing, dancing, the smell of spring, the colors of fall, reading, insense, people watching, animal watching, thinking, inspiring others as well as inspiration, the sound of the ocean, yoga, jogging, biking, friends, trees, my brother, organic foods, dark chocolate, serving people in need, and I love love itself

History

My parents were divorced when I was 6 years of age, and though I visited my father twice to three times a week, he became absent from my life. In return, I grew up in a home, raised by my mother, as well as my brother actually, since he is 9 years older than me. I looked up to my brother as though the words he spoke were truthful religion. He was the only stable figure I had to look up to growing up. My mother had been so damaged by my father that she herself is somewhat unstable.

I was raised in a Christian home, school, and church. You'd think I'd be you're stereotypical "goody-two-shoes"... think again. It wasn't long before there came a season of rebellion from all that I had been taught. I became very "punk rock" and cut my hair short - I spiked it, then later dyed it purple.

I sort of fell away from Jesus during this period of time, but it was only a few years before I came crawling back to him. I didn't change who I had become, however. I knew the Lord accepted me for who I was, and loved me for being who he created me to be. I loved and served him with everything I had, and matured very quickly. I taught myself how to play guitar, and began to play for a worship team. I loved it.

But then came another season of rebellion. By this time, I was just entering highschool, and a man that I had a crush on invited me to his house church. I went, got hooked, and immediately plugged in, while at the same time still being stuck at my mom's church because she wanted me there. It didn't take long for me to realize that you can't have a foot in two boats... you'll end up in the water. I fought my mom, and fought my mom to let me leave Trinity and come to Bret's house church. It took her almost a year to finally let me go.

I stayed at the house church for the next year, while still attending highschool, and in the meantime, I fell in love with art and photography to add to my love of music. I built close knit relationships with the people in this church. One man in particular always seemed to be watching out for me, and we became very good friends. Michael. He helped me find my first car (as he is an experienced mechanic), he paid for meals for me when all of us would go out to eat, he would follow me home from work on really snowy days to make sure that I got there ok, he'd buy me starbucks - he was my friend, and one of the best at that. I felt that I could tell him anything and he would still accept me.

Then all of a sudden one day, after having a steady friendship for over a year, the way he treated me shifted a little bit. I noticed a change in the way he looked at me. Finally, it came out. Michael came over and picked me up to take me on a short ride. He told me that one morning he woke up and saw me differently - a good different. An attractive different. Needless to say, he asked if I'd like to further our relationship. I took a few days to sleep on it and think and pray about it. After all, Michael was 13 years older than me, and I was only 17. But how could I give up someone that I already knew so well? Why shouldn't I at least give it a try and see how it works out? Okay. I told him, "Yes".

When word got out to everyone else in the house church, it was like a grenade went off. Red flags came up everywhere. They advised us to take a week separate from eachother to fast and pray about whether we should continue or not. Without rebutle, we complied.

Towards the end of the week, it was getting tough. It was hard to just sit not knowing what the other was thinking. Michael couldn't wait any longer. He showed up at my house, brought me flowers, and took me away so we could talk alone. We discovered that we both still felt that we should be able to date.

Again, the church began to ask questions about our relationship and what we had decided. We told them our conclusion. They disagreed. It was such a sharp disagreement that the church asked Michael and I to leave. The church literally split in half after this happened. Half of the church thought the others were nuts for telling us what to do. The others believed they were right, and we were wrong. The hardest part about this was that Michael's own family was in there and on the disagreeing side. His own brother and sister shut the doors of their homes on him and told him he wasn't welcome unless he broke up with me and "set things straight". But Mike didn't do it. He stuck with me.

Today

And here we are, a year and a half later, still together enjoying eachother's company. Michael gave up his family for me... and I don't deserve it. To this day we still struggle with his family that disowned him... but on the optimistic side, things are getting better than they were.

I'm currently a student at the University of Toledo, studying business and communications, although I think that might change. I spend my days pondering love, life, and the Lord, and holding Mike's hand.